Resources — Shira

Resources

Therapy is the heart of the work we do together, but a good deal of change happens in the quiet hours in between. The resources below are ones I trust and return to often. A few were written for couples, others for the woman who is carrying more than she lets on, and a couple are simply about being kinder to yourself.

Books

For relationships, anxiety, self-worth, and the work of understanding yourself a little better.

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work

by John Gottman, PhD

This is one of the most practical relationship books I know of, built on decades of research into what actually keeps couples close. If the same arguments keep resurfacing in your relationship, Gottman offers concrete ways to turn toward each other instead of away. I draw on this work often in couples sessions, so it pairs well with what we do together.

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Hold Me Tight

by Sue Johnson, EdD

A warm, readable look at the emotional bond underneath your conflicts, and why disconnection can feel so painful. Through seven conversations, Johnson helps partners understand what they're really reaching for when they argue or pull away. If you and your partner are feeling disconnected, emotionally focused therapy can help you find your way back to each other.

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The 5 Love Languages

by Gary Chapman, PhD

A simple, gentle framework for understanding how you and your partner each give and receive love. So much hurt in relationships comes from caring deeply but expressing it in ways the other person doesn't quite register. This book gives you language for that, and small shifts that can help your partner truly feel loved.

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Not "Just Friends"

by Shirley Glass, PhD

If trust has been broken in your relationship, the days after can feel deeply confusing and lonely. This book speaks honestly about how affairs happen and, more importantly, how couples rebuild trust and recover their relationship afterward. It's a steady, compassionate guide for a painful season, and a meaningful companion to the work we do in session.

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The Worry Trick

by David Carbonell, PhD

If your mind tends to spin worst-case scenarios, this book explains how anxiety convinces you to treat worried thoughts as emergencies, and why fighting them often makes them louder. Carbonell offers a different way to respond, one that loosens anxiety's grip over time. It fits closely with the approach I use, acceptance and commitment therapy, to help quiet overthinking and worry.

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The Gifts of Imperfection

by Brené Brown, PhD

For the woman holding herself to impossible standards with a critical inner voice that's hard to quiet, this book is a permission slip to let some of that go. Brown writes about worthiness, courage, and meeting yourself with compassion instead of judgment. It's one I recommend often when the work is about moving from self-criticism toward self-acceptance.

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Everyone Has a Sam

by Rosi Greenberg

A beautifully illustrated little book about the inner critic we all carry, and what changes when we learn to relate to that voice differently. It's short and deceptively simple, which is part of why it lands. I love sharing this one because it makes a hard idea feel approachable, and it's gentle enough to read on a heavy day.

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Websites

Trusted places to read more, take a tool further, or find something between sessions.

anxietycoach.com

David Carbonell's site, full of free, practical articles on anxiety, worry, and panic. A good place to turn when you want something concrete to read on a difficult day, written by someone who understands how anxiety actually works.

gottman.com

The home of the research behind much of the couples work I do. You'll find articles, quizzes, and exercises for strengthening your relationship, all grounded in decades of study on what helps partnerships last.

5lovelanguages.com

A companion to the book, where you and your partner can each take the quiz to discover your love languages. A simple, low-pressure way to start a conversation about how you both feel most cared for.

A gentle note: these resources are meant to support your growth, not replace the care you receive in therapy. Reading can open doors, but real change tends to happen in relationship, with the time and safety to make sense of what comes up. If something you read stirs something in you, that's worth bringing into our work together.